HOW LANGUAGES CONNECT STRANGERS

A story about how you can make a connection with a stranger using his own language

“If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his language, that goes to his heart.” Nelson Mandela

Nelson Mandela was quite right with his quote. Why?

Your mother tongue is a piece of home  

Language represents the culture’s way of thinking and your mother tongue is something you grew up with. Therefore you can identify with it. Your mother tongue will always accompany you in your life and it gives you some kind of security, a feeling of home. You create an atmosphere of familiarity by speaking in the mother tongue of your conversational partner.

 

Language, a representative of a culture

Furthermore, it shows interest related to your culture when one is willing to learn your language since language represents the culture. Even more, it can happen that you share an insider like a specific humor which can only be created when you speak in the language of your conversational partner.

Languages connect strangers

It was very exciting to experience how a connection between complete strangers can be built by the foreign language use. The encounter with the person I had this experience with occurred by a spontaneous visit in an Asian restaurant.

At first I did not even notice that most of the meals on the menu card were Indonesian. While my friend and I were waiting for the food to be served I automatically started to listen to the conversation to our table neighbor. Among those three was one of the restaurant’s waitresses who already had finished working. 

“Look! She agrees with me!”, I suddenly heard her laughing. Glancing at her I saw she was looking at me. Obviously she caught me grinning after she had shared her opinion about an amusing matter in a funny way. That lady, I supposed she was Indonesian, started right away to include us in the conversation.

Culture and language are two inseparable things

 After joking around a bit first, she began to ask personal questions. In return I found my guess correct; she was really from Indonesia.

 I didn’t hesitate too long to start asking her how long she had already lived in Germany. Also, I wanted to know what cultural differences she noticed between Indonesia and Germany.  Now it really became interesting

This conversation led automatically to the Indonesian language.  I told her that I know some basic words like “hello”, “how are you” and so on. Her face lighted up as a result and eventually she began to share some Indonesian nuts with my friend and me.

 

 

One little word, big reaction

“Enak (delicious)!”, I commented them smiling.                                                                                                  Her reaction was priceless. Surprised she started to laugh, turned around and called to her co-worker: “Have you heard that? She said enak!” Both were cracking up. Some minutes later she brought us two cokes. “It’s on the house.”

A motivation for every language lover

Until now I still like to think back to this moment. Even though I used only some basic words and expressions in her language, she reacted that enthusiastically. I think this would motivate every language lover. 

Of course, like so many things in life, it does not always apply to every person. Sometimes the native speaker reacts with indifference or even sarcasm when you try to use their first language.

 

Ignorance and indifference,   nothing could be less motivating

In such situation they might look at you with a half amusing face expression like it would be something ridiculous to try out one’s foreign language abilities. Nothing could be more discouraging in that case. When it comes to indifference; it is not something that might encourage one either.

The hello saying Spaniard

Usually I have always experienced positive reactions when it comes to using Spanish with natives. Many times native speakers ask me how long I have been learning Spanish and why. Generally it is also liked when you use some slang from their country or words which are just used in their own residence. However, I remember one uncomfortable incident when I entered a hotel’s buffet in Spain.

“Hola”, I greeted one of the waitresses who were receiving the guests at the entrance in Spanish.

“Hello”, was the reply.

On the next day again:

“Hola”

“Hello”

Some of you might have continued saying hola, but I gave up hoping to hear a hola back. It made me feel a bit ridiculous, especially because it was only about one Spanish greeting.

Use the foreign language and experience helpfulness

Summing up, people, in my experience, are very glad to that you use their language, no matter how basic it is. Some of them will even begin to offer you help. However, there are surely also some exceptions.  The reactions are various and colorful like life itself.

In other words: some waitresses will invite you for a coke, some other waitresses will always respond with an English hello to your Spanish hola.

Have you ever experienced something similar by using a foreign language?

Share your experience with us!